Texting hissy fit

Blogging time. What's going on? I'm burning the candle at both ends again, taking on additional work, and going out more than usual. Saturday I had a date with tapas for dinner and Ruby Skye for after dinner dancing. It was a first date and as far as first dates went, it was pretty awesome. Except the guy quit his job due to some serious dysfunction at his previous office and is now looking for a job. I'll leave him to it. But we had a great time, talked like crazy. We love the same foods, thump to the same music, and he wants to learn how to be a DJ, just for fun. We could be some good pals. Chemistry? Not really sure. He's tall, dark, and Jewish. I've never been much a fan of guys with dark eyes though. We'll see where that goes.

We ended up separated at Ruby Skye and I found myself upstairs in the VIP lounge with a bunch of DJ's and the DJ of the night, with a lot of girls. Of course. I observed them all like a scientist watching the mating rituals of some species. These were well dressed, make up to the nines, skinny, beautiful girls hanging onto the DJ like some celebrity. Well, I never got into the whole celebrity thing and never could I claim to be beautiful. Pretty, yes, beautiful? Nah. That's ok. I'd rather be hell on wheels exotic. One day! Plus I wasn't even wearing any makeup! Ha.

Anyhow, I woke up Sunday and bounced for sailing. It turned out rather awful cause the skipper just couldn't stop bitching. I'm fine not being #1. I am not fine with sore losers who bitch. Oh good lord. Next time this happens I'm going to tell him off. Yell before shit happens, not after. After it's too damn late and too damn useless. Save it.

Then I came home and cleaned my room. Oh my lord it was messy. I haven't cleaned it since... Thanksgiving? What is it with holidays anyway that just makes you run around like a chicken with its head cut off? I'm still not hydrated from NYE, still doing too much. My mind is just scrambled, my body is exhausted, but at least my room is clean. And I'm coming down with a nasty cough. Took some Nyquil last night and oh lord, the room started spinning. Why do kids do meth.... they should just jump Nyquil. Ick.

A friend's son got his laptop confiscated cause he's been skipping school and flaking on family plans. So how do you motivate an unmotivated 18 year old? He's graduating this year and has no sense of responsibility. He's not a completely bad kid though... he helped me cook and clean during Xmas. His mind isn't just all there. He gets distracted very easily. And he swore off drugs... well, except weed probably. It makes me wonder what you do with a kid like that. He's very smart, high IQ, very good looking, can't wait to start becoming a man. But no sense of duty, no discipline. Hmm... if I were a parent of this delinquent 18 year old, what would I do? Carrots and sticks his father says. Carrots and sticks indeed.

This weekend I have a dinner date planned for Friday in the city. I might work Saturday too and then head over to the Dutch guy's house. Oh yeah... he got back to me about 6 days after my text and I was peeved about the lack of explanation. So on Monday morning we got into a texting hissy fit. See below:

Me: have you ever heard the term: treating someone like a piece of meat?

A: Yes. It's not nice

Me: A sub-definiton of that is to return messages weeks later. For someone you don't know or don't care its ok. For a friend, it's rather rude.

A: I guess than that you feel that I treated you like that!?

Me: I know you're very busy dear. I respect your space, but not returning messages for a week or more is what guys do with their fuck buddies.

Me: I'm not sure you're aware of that?

Me: Or maybe you do know of this & I just need to understand my place?

A: Well get off your high horse my dear, I am driving now, so I can't txt, but will when I am at work. If you'd know why it took so long for me to respond to u and everybody else you'd keep ur mouth shut and understand the world doesn't turn around you. Typical. Oh and what made you think you are my girlfriend? Sorry, but your selfish attitude ticks me off.

Me: I don't believe I'm being selfish. I dno't expect you to respond to me right away or even within 24 hrs. Yes you are busy & I understand that. But socially speaking, taking weeks to reply to someone means you are not being respectful.

Me: No, I am not your gf; I have no desire to be anyone's gf. I would just like to be treated with respect.

Then he calls... I pick up the phone. Obviously he's highly upset. The reason why he didn't get back to me sooner was because his exwife dropped the kids off and says, by the way, I have a brain tumor. What tumor?! Oh, didn't you read the email I sent? Then she disappears for New Year's somewhere. So he spends the rest of the week hunting her down and checking up on MRI's and the like. Nope, no brain tumor, but a pinched nerve. Kids are frantic cause they hadn't seen daddy for 2 weeks. And he goes bonkers on me for bitching about getting back to messages late. Ok, egg on my face. I said, look I did not accuse you of treating me like a piece of meat, I was just asking if you were aware that returning messages that late without an explanation is rude.

He goes... why didn't you just ask me why it took so long? I go, well in the US it's considered rude to ask someone why it took so long. But I have no idea how American you are, no idea how the people in Holland are, and then we have my French and Chinese background as well... so it's a melting pot full of social landmines. Since it's the US, I'm sticking to US customs. Ok, calm down, I'm not accusing, I'm asking. I definitely asked the wrong questions, but I'm only asking still. He goes... Well, I'm Dutch and we're very direct. Ask me anything and be careful how you ask it, but I won't take offense. Ok he calms down and we say goodbye.

I then wrote him an email. Here's my background, I just got out of a long, controlling, traumatic relationship. I ended up in the hospital and lost my baby and now he's in jail. I've been in therapy for 6 months now, but I'm still nervous around angry men. I understand about psychotic exes all too well, and just cause it's over doesn't mean its over. I get it. But dont' you dare think I want or am acting like a girlfriend when I have no desire to be anyone's girlfriend. He writes back, I'm sorry about your past experiences, but I'm glad we're on the same page, etc, etc.