The Romantic Advisor

SMS Convo between the helicopter guy and I:

M: Nicely done btw. And also I couldn't follow the advice re: ex gf =/. Lol I dunno why But I guess I gotta learn it on my own. 
Me: By all means. Familiarity is always tempting. Just remember: doing same thing & expecting diff results is stupidity/insanity 
Me: If you love her then why don't you go back to her now? Waiting to have your cake & need it too is emotional cowardice
Me: Eat* 
Me: Love is easily spoiled by selfish desires. Its like sex: it is or it isn't. Waffling is unfair to you & to her. In between is the bastion of cowardice. Like waffling in a battlefield. You get shot. Or she does. 
M: I agree. 
M: I don't think I'm going to waffle... 
Me: then love her now. Time's awasting... 
M: I'm trying. She's scared I'll hurt her again 
Me: well, you will hurt her again. It's the nature of the life you chose 
Me: your work takes you away, she can't understand or deal with that. Either she grows up and gets independent or you be duly available to her 
M: I suppose... I guess I had better figure something out
Me: either way, something's gotta give or results will be the same 
M: I expect we will meet in the middle somewhere 
Me: not everyone wants to meet in the middle. 
Me: but again, something you need to learn on your own 
M: Yea... I have a feeling of optimism 
Me: I really, really want to be in love. 
M: It's scary kind of 
Me: no, not when you're ready. Not when you know you're strong enough 
Me: its only scary for the weak and the insecure 
Me: Have life, will share. Have hands, will hold. Have arms, will cuddle. Have ears, will listen. Have mind, will communicate. Have heart, will give. 
Me: there is nothing to fear, but fear itself. 
Me: besides, what you gain is so much greater than what you have to lose. Hearts mend. Love lasts forever. 
M: True. I'm not sure I agree completely tho. That's like the people who say they don't fear combat. They are lying or crazy. That's not to say you can't co 
M: nquer that emotion and perform at a High level 
Me: well, love is a matter of trust. How much do you trust yourself to deal with a love-snafu? 
Me: I don't regret loving John, though I've been to hell and back. I'm a stronger, better person for it
Me: if you truly, deeply love, it is worth the price of admission to hell. 
Me: it hurts yes, but the pain is not as powerful as the love 
Me: but then again, not everyone is capable of loving that deeply 
M: I do agree with that... I'm not worried that I can't take it. And I do love this girl.... The worst thing she did to mr was want to talk to me more when 
M: I was super busy... 
Me: why in hell did you break up with her then? 
M: Because I was being An idiot 
Me: obviously 
Me: when it comes to love, only let go when you know there is no future 
Me: the limit is when you realize that love alone is not enough. 
Me: you do realize that this means you're never coming out to SF right? Lol
M: That's the drawback. I was really looking forward to that. But at the same time... I feel I have to give this a shot you know? 
Me: of course. you'd be dishonest w yourself if you didn't.
Me: besides, I'm not going anywhere with anybody 
M: Honestly tho... If nothing else I think we can cultivate a pretty good friendship. 
Me: I don't know. I find friendships w Americans are shallow things 
Me: but I'm always here for you. Neither selfish, nor judging 
M: Hmm well I suppose that may prove true however, I do not really fit in with Americans in most respects 
Me: I hope you're right about that. In Europe, friendships = family. 
Me: you do what you must and be honest at all times. I wasn't happy about your "I wanna get back w her in May" 
Me: a load of bull if I ever heard one. 
M: Yea... That was mostly her idea because she wants to make sure i'm sure, I guess, I'm actually trying to speed that process. 
Me: go pick her up, take her to some place private and hold her, whisper in ear, tell her all you need to say 
M: I've done that 
Me: and she's still not sure? 
M: We are more or less back together but she just won't say it lol 
Me: she's got something up her sleeve then 
M: I know lol. That's the only thing that has me concerned 
M: But like you said... You have to risk it I guess 
Me: how long were you guys broken up? 
M: 7 months I think 
Me: she's dated other guys? 
M: Yes, one 
Me: you've lost her 
M: You think so? 9
Me: her trust in you is gone 
M: Hmm. I hope not lol 
Me: her reluctance in re-entering the relationship has nothing to do with you being sure & everything about her gut instincts telling her its tepid waters now 
Me: she may hesitantly & passively concede, but her hesitancy & passivity will further cool 
M: Well the thing I have goin for me 
M: Is she called me…
M: She said her heart wanted me even if her mind was conflicted 
Me: your only chance of changing her ardor is to spend every waking minute with her until you leave (65%) 
M: So, I'm inclined to give her some time 
Me: well she's no dummy. what she says is true for all women. The heart takes longer to cool. The mind doesn't 
M: I'm not gonna do that I don't think, I couldve gone there tonight but I had to hang with my pops 
Me: yikes! don't give her time! thats the worse thing you can do 
M: I'm giing to see her tomorow tho 
M: I see 
Me: the only thing you're doing is giving her time to cool off, furthering her into analysis, not amour 
M: Well, starting tomorrow I will use your strategy. I don't want to wake her up.
Me: absence is not going to make the heart grow fonder. It'll only remind her all the time you gave her for 7 months 
Me: waking her up is an awesome idea... very romantic actually. "I HAD to wake you up, I missed you!" 
M: I see 
Me: hey Casanova, in matters of the heart, don't listen to the brain! 
M: I see. 
Me: you keep saying that like a broken record. Go! 
M: I feel like I have someone in the inside helping me out :p 
Me: huh? 
M: I am learning…
Me: gtcha 
Me: even if you do this, you still only have a 60% chance of getting her back. Asians aren't big on saying no adamantly like americans do 
M: She's asleep already :/ 
Me: by the time you hit Iraq, it'll be deja vu all over again for her. She'll further cool off 
Me: by the way, Asians aren't independent. They're dependent upon their family & love like body parts. She won't understand well your need to be family 
Me: to be with your family** 
M: Dammit lol now I wanna go over there but she's not answering 
Me: hahhahahaaaaa! 
Me: don't worry. You'll just be you and she'll just be her and you'll be broken up in 6 months. 
M: And your suggestion? Would I be stupid to to over there and try to wake her up? Lol 
Me: she got a window you can climb into? bring a flower! 
Me: on your deathbed, it's not the stupid things you've done that you regret. It's the things you didn't do.
M: She has a window. I could get into her house actually. Would that be creepy. Lol 
Me: you dated for 3 years. Not creepy. You dated for 6 months. Very creepy. 
M: I know the garage code lol 
Me: its much more romantic if you climbed through her window. 
M: Lol not oissble 
Me: but garage code works. Just don't wake up her parents. 
M: K lol
Me: bring some flowers when you wake a girl up! and chocolates too 
M: Tough @ midnight in winter 
Me: what you got in your house? no chocolate? 
Me: I need to add chocolate on hand for my "you're a gentleman list" 
Me: I'll be an eensie bit sad that I won't get to meet your pretty penis. But I'll live. Good luck and make her come! 
M: ;) 
Me: oh holy shit, I have 2 dates almost back to back on Friday. God, how did I do that?! 
Me: well, at least I'm guranteed to get laid Friday! 
M: Lol nice! 
M: Wish me luck... Love or a b&e charge lol 
Me: its not B&E when you have the code. Maybe trespassing. 
M: Lol 
Me: now if she starts beating you, remember to make a run for it. So don't lock the doors yet. 
M: Lol 

Me: Sooo... it went well? 
M: Seems to be yes. Though no sex.... She says she's not ready. Your take ? 
Me: You can only keep trying. But really, you've lost her. 
Me: You must have hurt her a lot 
M: I guess I'll have to step my game up heh 
Me: It might not be enough. When a woman cools, she's done. Happened to me before w Jason
Me: The idea is to keep the embers warm and burn them up once in a while. Bt when the fire dies, its dead. 
M: I think I caught her just in time. Coming over last night was clutch 
M: I think it dies if I don't come over last night 
Me: He tried to get me back for 2 yrs but I was cold 
Me: Well you should thank me then. Don't let her out of your sight! 
M: Thank you. And I don't intend to ;). 
M: Did you hear about the shooting in Omaha? 
M: At millard south highschool 
Me: No. whoa 
M: Yea... Hanh's cousins were at school there 
M: Her aunt had to go pick them up... So her mom couldn't get lunch so we brought her some 
M: Then the store was packed so she started to help and Now I'm stuck at a nail shop lol 
Me: Oh goodness 
M: Lol this is less than ideal. 
M: O well good timing to show some dedication…
Me: Well, youre not a bad person to have around when there's combat! Play hero to your advantage 
M: Lol indeed. Plus there are a bunch of young women in here who are giving hanhs mother a hard time 
M: And they have like a million kids 
Me: Don't stick around a nail shop though. Do something else, other stores, etc 
M: Well I'm hoping we will be leaving shortly 
Me: Do not be menial. That's damage to your status 
Me: Go find a bookstore or something like that 
M: Hmm 
Me: She can call you when she's ready to leave 
M: The thing is there isn't really much nearby 
M: I guess there's a library 
Me: When her attention is not on you, leave 
Me: Go drive around then 
Me: Put gas in the car or something 
M: I shouldve known that earlier probly. She is almost ready to go 
Me: Sigh. Consult me earlier! But whatever you do, do not appear a sycophant! 
M: Hmm good advice
M: I need to figure this out now I guess , what to do about it 
M: Since the damage is already done lol 
Me: Raise your status immediately. Take charge. Be unpredictable 
Me: Hot tub time? Throw her for a loop. 
Me: Oh lord, what would you do w/out me? :)-
M: Interesting. It would be nice to go swimming 
M: Perhaps a hotel room with a pool? 
M: And a hot tub 
M: Good call 
Me: And you're shocked I have a higher IQ than you. 
M: Shocked ? No I was never shocked. You are very articulate and a woman, and are aware I am certain that the complexities of the female mind escape men 
M: We had this discussion about the researchers lol 
M: Hmm I'm going to advance the hotel hottub idea for sure 
Me: Well others are certainly shocked. I actually use my brains :) 
M: It should be fairly romantic as well 
Me: Make sure you are in charge! 
M: Like we have discussed before, I don't subscribe to any notion that men are or should be smarter 
Me: I'm too good for my own damn good! 
M: Indeed. I will be in charge of the situation! 
M: Lol if you hadn't recommended going over to her last night I probly cone see you in sf
Me: See how unselfish I am?! Much too good for my own good :) 
Me: You should pray I end up wrapping the Dutch boy around my finger! So far he's MIA
M: I will be on your side. Btw, success!