No Drunk Texting!

Dear men,

Please don't drunk text girls. It's so lame. Unless you become the most hilarious guy on earth, it's really pathetic. Not to mention, it doesn't make any of us girls feel good that you hit us up when you're drunk. Cause when you're drunk, most of you guys are idiots. Especially when you want a hook up after. I am not your fuck buddy. So don't think you can go out drinking with your buddies all night and then hit me up after. See below.

(FYI, Polk St is full of bars and Good Vibrations store)

C: R u going to cum over and watch it with me?

Me: now?

Me: we never even finished ip man

C: Yes. But u would have to pick me up on polk st later.

Me: gone through all your condoms already? sheesh. make a sick girl come pick u up!

C: I have allll the condoms. Pick me up...

Me: don't think so. You're probably drunk and I'm definitely sick

Me: hardly the rudiments to a rendezvous

C: Fine. U r no fun

C: I can't believe u r not picking me up

Me: you're a big boy, whereas I am wanting to puke my guts up

C: U need to tell me if u can't come over on Sunday soon.

Me: soon? thx for the concern... don't think I'm up for it.

C: Don't be like that. I'm.concerned. I'm just being a punk right now. Sorry. Hope u feel better soon. Hope I can make it up to u

Me: I can see a pattern... gentleman by day, punk by midnight. Hmm.

C: One instance does not make a pattern. U should know this. I've been nothing but a gentlemen the entire time with u and u know this.

Me: abslutely. though I do wonder about the punkishness.. drink?

C: The punk attitude comes from the drinking tonight. I would expect u to forgive me. But if u can't I understand.

Me: what is there to forgive? I admit I'm fascinated by this punkishness, so vastly diff from the gentleman

C: I can be very aggressive and non considerate of my usual gentleman ways u know. Especially when u seem like u want me to man handle u.

Me: only in bed my dear. manhandling me elsewhere might land you in serious trouble

Me: I'm also quite testy when I'm ill and less than a perfect lady

C: Fine. I've never given u any reason to think otherwise. I've always treated u with respect outside the bedroom. Get some rest and feel better.

Me: I'm submissive, but contrary. I do not like being summoned at drunken whims. Besides, you said Saturdays are your time to be alone days. I hardly want to intrude.

C: Sigh, I'm only flirting with u now. I'm not summoning u. Don't b ridiculuous. Hope to see u Sunday.

Me: Flirting. I see. Hmm. I like the sober you.

Me: let me know when you're sober. I'll come over, immediatement