Michelle

While going through the Linux partition I found some archives of old files. I thought I had lost them forever. The psycho ex did his best to remove my past from me, deleting my FB account, wiping my gmail account, and clearing my hard drive. But good ol' Ubuntu kept some stuff alive. And some of those old files contained pictures of Michelle. Hundreds of photos of Michelle. Michelle in my arms, Michelle in dresses, Michelle with my umbrella, Michelle in every color, flavor, and thought.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw them. I hadn't looked at those photos in so many years. 7 years to be exact. It was then that we were together, every day, morning and night. And my heart ached. She was my best friend. We did everything together and I loved it. Not once did I get sick of her company, not once did I want her to go away or to give me space. I didn't have to. She knew. She knew me inside and out, without explanations. And after I fucked up that relationship I've never been that close to another human being again, not even Johnny. Johnny was not my best friend, did not spend more than 3 days a week with me. I wouldn't let him. I have no best friends now. And it's best that way. God I loved her so much. I still do. And I still miss her presence, even 7 years later.

For all my dicking around with men... they don't mean a whole lot to me. Not the way the women I've dated mattered. Especially not the way I am about Michelle.