Get me

I'm pensive because I'm a bit frustrated. I've stated it before but it needs reminding: Recreational sex is like recreational heroin. It doesn't stay recreational for long. After a day of chilled out times filled with lots of sleep, doing practically nothing on Friday and going to bed early (8:30pm!) and a Saturday of Me-time... I find myself continuing the habit. It's so easy. Just call up a few names and they're there waiting. And being a girl, it's a seller's market. I sell it to whomever I want. But I shouldn't be selling! I should be dating and looking for potentially long term material. But even after one great date with a potentially great guy I'm already bored and thinking about hitting up those casual trinkets. As for the great date? He's not gonna stick in my mind for long unless great sex is involved. But I don't know what the sex will be like... ergo I'm not interested. Bah!

I'm tempted to hit up TDD or Brian, or Carson even! The revolving door of available, replaceable men. I know I should stop. I know I need to stop. This is bad behavior. It doesn't further my goal of lovey dovey ooey gooey stable relationship. Or as ooey gooey as I'll ever be, which is next to nil. But you know what I mean.

It's just... I don't have a lot of hope. There are many wonderful, sane, normal men out there. But I don't want sane! Complete sanity is boring. I can never love those kinds of men... too normal. I'm too whacked out and psychotic. I just want a hot nerd who can get me... ergo he's gotta be only slightly sane or slightly psychotic. Don't get me wrong, dating is fun, hooking up is fun, all these guys are fun. But eventually the timer runs out and boredom sets in. Cause none of them will ever get me. They don't understand and will never be able to. Hence why I'm not interested in dating. The chances of them getting me is so slim that I'd rather just have hot sex and be done.

Johnny got me, but Johnny was too fucked up and delusional. I'm slightly sane whereas he was completely insane. That's just too much. He got me on the psychotic level, but he couldn't get me on a rational level since there was nothing rational about him. If he gets out of prison and comes find me, I will kill him, point blank. That's rational, self preservation. I still love him on the psychotic level, but rational level takes precedence, therefore I will shoot him. Preferably in the gut so he can slowly bleed out. It's a much bigger target than the head, less chance I'll miss, even at 40 meters.

So... I'm really forcing myself to date. The one on Thursday was blah. Rome picked me up from my new place in his snazzy little Z4 and took me to Zeytini's. He got really excited about carpacio! He's been after me for a date for months now, so I capitulated, thinking I really needed to expand my horizons. Stop being so shallow, I told myself. Give non-blue eyed men a chance. I should have known better. After dinner we drove along the beach with the top down and I stared up at the stars. It was cute. Then he tried to kiss me. Have I ever kissed a Mexican guy before? I don't think so. I felt like I was kissing... something wet and slimy. Eewww! I gotta think of a polite way to get rid of this one. He's nice... for somebody. Just not me. I tried.

So since my foray into dating these past 2 weeks, I've batted a 50% average. Slightly Jewish guy, might be a hit (though I have no clue what we might have in common). Rome is a miss. Although with Slightly Jewish, if things make it to 3rd base, I'm gonna have to drag his ass to the gym before I ever wanna see him naked. See? It's not just men that are shallow pigs. I bring it right back at them.

I find it very funny that men demand women be pretty and attractive when most of them look like shit. They probably think it's okay cause they have money to make up for the fugliness. Well I got shitkickers in store for them. The smart, attractive women are making their own money fuckers. Start shaping up. Also, the worse thing you can do for your future genes is to mix it with the fuglies.

I just want a guy who gets me. And be 6 feet tall, have a college degree, 10% body fat, IQ above 120, makes decent money, have cool hobbies, possesses good morals, does not possess any venereal diseases or genetic disorders . Preferably with blue eyes. Johnny had green eyes and questionable morals. I'll triple check that next time. As for Asian men, Latino men, Middle Eastern men, African men... sorry. I'm not gonna subject myself to that.