how to say goodbye

god I suck at this. You would think I'd be damn good by now, considering everyone I've dumped, left, and abandoned...yikes. I need to write a few dear john letters, say a few sayonnaras and de-bug, de-frag my life. But it never gets any easier, regardless of frequency. But I gotta do it.

First off... I need to choose a method.

I've trained tango boy to only communicate with me via text. Every time he calls, I don't pick up. But if he texts, I reward him by texting back. Once I made the mistake of returning his call... he talked and talked and talked. Aahhhh. I was never interested. Since we communicate mostly through text, I think breaking up through text would be appropriate? Hmmm... I hate to be rude. But last time I've seen him was last year for fucksakes. How about this:

hey C, I've met someone. Don't think it'd be appropriate to continue this.

Short, sweet, and simple? Hmm...

The Whipping Boy. Never got to whip him. Damn. However I brought him out to hang with Lien and us girls and he just didn't fit in. He bounced after a half hour! It wasn't right. It was the same night we all met Mr Serendipity/super sweet guy. And HE got along with everyone fantastically! I communicate with Whipping Boy mostly via email. We've met up twice now for drinks. That's it. Not even fucking dinner. So... a short email:

Hello E,
Hope all is well. I don't think we're going to work out. I keep thinking something should've happened by now, some spark, but so much time has past and I think we should both move on. I hope you can understand my reservations. Best of luck. xoxox

Jesus... there's a few other guys but I can't even remember which ones. I'm pretty much gonna get rid of all of them. Except Serendipity and maybe a spare or two. That's right... I'm still gonna keep one or two around. Spares. What, you think I'd get rid of everyone for Serendipity? Puh-lease, I haven't even tried on the shoe yet, I'm not buying. And I'm not getting rid of these guys FOR Serendipity, I'm getting rid of them cause I'm bored to tears by them and having them around isn't worth my time anymore. Kinda like barnacles. A good scrubbing at the bottom of the hull is needed.

I have suspicions that Serendipity is gonna suck in bed. He's not assertive, and when I mentioned jokingly that I wanted to sit on his face, he got confused. "How does that work?" My jaw dropped to the floor. WTF? How the F do you not know how THAT works???? I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Jesus. I knew he was too good to be true.

I miss B. I wanna take him to Lusk.... he'd really like that place.

The agenda is to find more diverting interests.