The Next Stage

Where do I go from here? I think the running on empty and party hopping is catching up with me... because I'm doing it while moving!

Every once in a while I have to check in with myself. How am I doing?

Mentally - wired from work, tired from working so hard. But I love the challenge.
Physically - I have so much energy to burn.
Sexually - not getting much. Wish I was getting more.
Emotionally - I think my therapist may be right. I might be ready for a relationship. But like a little kid who doesn't want to grow up, I don't know if I'm ready for that responsibility yet. However, I cannot play at being someone else for too long. Eventually I have to revert back to me. And a sweet stable relationship is good for me. It grounds me. Eventually the hookups get old, the sex gets boring. And it ends. And I'm still sweet and sensitive... on the inside anyway.

In the end, the bigger picture, I'm no different than many others. I just want to be loved. I may go about it in a very strange way, but the goals are the same.

So where do I go from here? Who knows? I'm not much of a planner, but rather a candle in the wind. I breathe and let the chips fall where they may. I'm happy either way. I think I'm ready for the next adventure. Whatever it is, I know it doesn't involve me being boy crazy, irresponsibly party hopping like a 21 year old. But I'm glad I got to do it for a little while.