Making Communication Better

Me: B?
TDD: Hello?
Me: Snuggles?
TDD: Driving
Me: Where to
TDD: South bay
Me: Plans ltr?
TDD: Gonna be down here for dinner, gonna be a long day :-(
Me: sorry, meant ltr this week
TDD: I'll be around... Whaddya have in mind?
Me: snuggles!
Me: how can I make it any more obvious my dear?
TDD: Friends that cuddle?
Me: huh? you wanna be just friends?
TDD: I thought u wanted a fck buddy?... That's what u said
Me: I thought snuggling was part of the benefits portion?
Me: there appears to be a misunderstanding
Me: I'm not a fan of fuck buddying. too cold.
Me: & I'm too old for that
TDD: Yeah, I hear u
Me: I'm sorry if there's a misunderstanding. You're cool & funny. I wanted to hang out & have fun & see where it goes. But I don't want to be anyone's Fbuddy.
TDD: Understood
Me: now can we hang out or would you rather not?
TDD: Sure, we can hang
Me: sweet!

___^^ that was yesterday.

I'm strangely not that worried about movers, about boy drama, about anything really. Work is work, its great! It's just like sex. There's foreplay, there's intercourse, there's the post coital aftermath. The client gets their disasters fixed, I get money and networking. And I get to add it to my resume. I love my work just like sex too. Of course there's always shit you have to put up, like small penises or corporate red tape. The one fiasco this year was the clit getting sandpapered by NYE guy's 5 0'clock shadow.

I actually don't stress anymore.... well except money, but who wouldn't stress about that?! Otherwise everything rolls off my back. After Johnny, waking up in the hospital, and all that, the little things just don't matter so much anymore. In the major scheme of things it never mattered. And it's so easy to get just it all go now. I have wonderful friends who really love me. I can feel it. I have a pseudo family that loves me. I know it. I'm relatively safe, secure, doing what I love, being around people that I love, having so much fun, exploring all the intricacies of life. Why should I let those little things stand in the way of my eternal happiness? If someone is ruining my happiness, I can just cut them out of my life. It's that easy. And if they won't go away after I've cut them off, well the Farrallones aren't that far away, breeding more hungry sharks.

I still love being angry though. Just don't give me cause. I'm very reasonable when other people are reasonable.

All I'm wondering now is when the next time I'll get laid.

______

Got off work and moved some more stuff into the new place. All that's left here is my comforter, some laundry, shampoo and two plants. I'll be done by tomorrow. Then let the cleaning begin!

Sad news: Dutch guy texted me he can't make it to my dinner party tomorrow. He's met someone else and won't be seeing me anymore. Awww... will miss his hotness. I just liked looking at him.

Good news: I can invite TDD to replace Dutch guy's seat at the table. Who knows if he will show. He can be quite the flake. If not, oh well. The dinner party will go on. Only thing is, this might be a sausage fest cause I don't have many women friends. I can count on one hand how many good girlfriends I have. And all of them are far away in other states living other lives.

Daniela wanted to know why I don't have many women friends... the ones that I count as really good friends are married or pursuing PhD's. Single girls hate me cause I get all the guys or rather, I appear to. I'm flirtatious, rambunctious, and lord save me if I'm next to a tall girl. She'll hate me. I take all the tall guys. My best female friend is either Kelly (engaged, 4 kids, two hers, two his) in Wisconsin, or my best friend's mother in Denver. Older women I can be friends with. Younger women I just don't have the patience for. I don't want to waste my time with people I can't connect with.

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