Fact of my life

Posted on my Facebook status:

Fact of my life: I do NOT mix friends & family w boy toys. This includes lovers, fwb's, , fb's, bf's, perhaps even husband should that insanity ever arise.

Convo between Meetup guy and I:

Meetup Guy: It's cool. There was probably a more elegant way to let me know you weren't into me, but this works.
Me: I thought I made that obvious between telling both of you I liked tall Nordic guys ONLY. But also, I don't mix friends w boy toys.
Me: My sincere apologies for the misunderstanding. I agree it was rude and undignified, and it should not have happened that way.

So... my bad. Definitely should not have left him there last night. Also, I should also have made it very clear, in neon signs even a retard can appreciate, he's not my type. Personally I thought it was abundantly clear when I semi-drooled over the stranger from Amsterdam in front of both Meetup guy and Christopher with statements like: "I loooove tall Nordic men." or "Where'd that Amsterdam guy go? If he didn't have so many friends with him, I'd join him." One, I very clearly stated I like Nordic men. Meetup guy is not Nordic, he's American. I'm not that fond of American men. I find most American men uncouth. Two, if I'm interested in a guy, I would NEVER drool over another guy in front of him. That would be vulgar, uncouth, and completely undignified. Three, over dinner at Kokkari we exposed our love of decor and he nose dived. I'm a chrome, glazed glass, stainless steel, titanium, modern kind of girl. He's old Victoria, refinished hardwood floor kind of guy. Those two don't go together. Four, I'll bite my own ass first before I date a guy from Jersey. Eeww.

Anywho... I do not let boy toys, boyfriends, fuck buddies, friends with benefits or even husbands hang out with my friends. Sometimes I don't even bother to introduce them to my friends.

The only exception is Brian, but that's cause it's Brian. He's been an excellent friend to me for many years, giving me a place to live when I was broke and relocating from Chicago to SF, letting me crash on his couch when it's too late and I'm too sloshed to make it home safely. I've only slept with him in the last couple of months when we both became sexual free agents. So he sincerely belongs in the beloved friend category.

Ok, back to the subject... why do I do this? I like my life separated. I compartmentalize. I'm a man trapped in a tiny woman's body. Also because I don't like complications. I don't want to have to have friends choose sides when I ditch the guy. Eventually I always do. I also like to have my own life outside of a relationship, whatever that relationship happened to be. I have my work life, my beloved friends and family, my love life, my athletic life (which sometimes gets meshed into my friends life).

Because there will always be one fact that is irrefutable: sex does not make for great friendships. Once the vagina and penis are involved, the friendship is too easily lost. Once you have had the vagina, it's been had. Once I have had the penis, it's been had. The friendship is tainted. Now... if a lover from say 5 years ago shows up and wants to be friends... well, that MIGHT be okay. But still, the memory lingers, the knowledge taints. Easier to just keep them in the past. It's clean, no drama, and for any new potential lovers, it's less muddy waters to tread.

Also... here's a list of things that ran through my head whilst writing this piece... things I find unattractive:

A fat guy
A short guy
Married guy (that I know of. Sometimes these sneaky fuckers hide it real well... which means lots of practice)
A guy from Jersey
A guy who likes antiques. They belong in museums, not houses.
A non techy- gadgety guy. We live right next to Silicon Valley for chrissakes.
A guy who listens to country music
A guy who listens to only one kind of music
eats only certain foods/a vegetarian/vegan/limited foods person. Why the eff would you do that to your body?
an alcoholic/never drinks or drinks too much (bad genes)
Asian guys! Talk about Little Emperor Syndrome
Bad genes... the last thing I wanna do is accidentally procreate with bad genetic material.
I'm sure there's more... but gotta hit the showers now.