Exhale

So the DA got back to me and said the ex has been out of jail since August. He's back in Chicago on parole. But she's not sure he violated the restraining order by adding me on G+. She needs to do further research she said. So much for that. I went and deleted my profile picture and hid all information to only people within my circles. A week later he had gotten rid of me from his Circles. I think he got the message. Now the only question is, will it stay that way? I am happy to never hear, see, or know of him ever again. Never in my life have I regretted knowing someone so much. I truly, deeply wish I had never met him. There's still a hole inside of me where he violated everything that ever mattered to me. What hurt the most wasn't him physically attacking me. What scarred was the invasion and destruction of my privacy. What scarred was the betrayal of someone I cared so much for went and married his ex while still dating me. This will take me years if not forever, to get over.

Yesterday I went out sailing with the girls and invited them all back to the house for dinner. We got groceries and made lots of food. Then we watched a movie. It was good being around these kinds of women, well situated, comfortable with themselves, living beautiful lives. We smoked a little pot, drank some Champagne, ate ourselves silly and then relaxed on the couch. It was a good day.

The night before I had gone to Mt Tam and had a picnic and then went home to rest for a bit and then bounced back into the city for drinks with Ivana. The pediatric surgeon showed up with a recent resident in tow. They were mildly amusing. Ivana dropped me off over at Erin's house in Yerba Buena and I ended up spending the night there. The yacht party broke up and I was fine with that... I was sloshed after one too many Manhattens and probably would've drowned myself in the Bay.

Life's been like this lately... good to me in many ways. And somewhat unkind in others. I'd love to hear from the anesthesiologist, but he's wildly gallivanting about in Japan somewhere. Who knows if I hear from him, or where we go from here. The problem with hope is that it's fragile and utterly painful at times. The other dates are mildly amusing... mildly.