Older & Wiser?

I'm not sure. But I know this coming year for me will be better than the last. I do feel wiser and decades older. More grounded, stable inside my skin, more comfortable in who and what I am and what I want and what I need. But that doesn't mean I stopped doing dumb things.

I had a bee up my ass and I texted Fonzi. I'm not proud of that. I'm not proud of why I did it either. B annoyed me when he IM'd me about this chick he was emailing back and forth with on match.com. He admitted to trolling it. It did get interesting for a bit when the chick might possibly be one eyed. How interesting would that be? But turns out she was just probably crossed eyed. Bah. I'm still dissecting what annoyed me about the whole thing - that he came to me - consulted with me, for clarification on what she said? that he was crass enough to reveal to his current lover about trolling match.com? that I had forgotten how much of a turd B can be sometimes? that I somehow seemed to have misplaced all my replacements? Really, WHY should I care?

Regardless, I am reminded of my precarious position with B. As things goes everything is peachy really. We IM, an occasional text, we hang out weekly. But that doesn't mean I haven't gone and lost my marbles. But I don't think so. I don't really care he has other women or what the hell he's doing. It's not like I'm not flirting with others on IM, email, texts, etc. But I do not apprise his dumbass of it. Next time B brings up trolling match.com I should tell him to stay away from my profile on there. Ha. Alors, I think I'm most annoyed that I had forgotten he can be such an ass. Lord I'd trade some of his tall, dark, and handsome for his brother's charisma & tact.

Or maybe I'm annoyed that I give a shit at all about courtesies awarded lovers in this mating game. I am resolved to bring the replacements afore. Anyhow, last time B was a turd I stopped talking to him for a few months. I may do that again. But first, gotta go meet Colin come Sunday. I'm really excited about that. I think we're gonna get along like two peas in a pod. For all that Colin may be younger than B, he's definitely more mature.

Oh and sailing last night was fantastic! This whole week has been fantastic. And it'll be even more fantastic when I go sky diving Saturday! Yippeee!