Making Up For It

Friday made up for whatever disaster my body endured the weekend before. I got off work and headed straight to the docks to set sail. By the time I came back I got a text from B. I had texted him a couple of a days ago to see if he wanted to see Pirates 4. He didn't... but he did send an unusual message:

"hehe - pirates? pg13??? lol if you want to come over and let me ravage you that would be cool; I'm just coming down from a cpl manhattans and just want to chill."

Obviously he was coming down from something alright. I hadn't seen him for a few months and last time I did, I wasn't happy with him at all. He was an ogre. Granted he hadn't slept in days, was behind on work, etc. But he didn't have to be an ogre about it. And I've never had quite a message like that from him before. He's quite a bit reserved about things like that.

And later I was reminded, or maybe realized?, how freakishly fantastic this Hugh Jackman look alike was in bed. He even cleaned up, precious boy; shaved, showered, picked up the usual stuff from the floor. Half a dozen orgasms later we were curled back on the couch watching The Mechanic on Apple TV. Oh and he admitted to buying an iPad2, an Android phone (he's got an iPhone 4!), an IBM Thinkpad, and god knows what else I can't remember. Boyo B's been on a shopping spree. Why the need for retail therapy? I wonder what's hurting him.

I don't want to pry. If people want to reveal things to me, they'll have to do so on their own. But he did mention how he just eats and eats like crazy when he's unhappy and/or depressed. How can't he be depressed though? He hardly ever leaves his cave! You live in beautiful, wonderful SF, B, but you hardly partake of it beyond the minimal. I wonder if one day he'll tell me about her, that girl that raped a massive hole in his heart 8 years ago. We did talk during the afterglow... somehow we got to the subject of pain and I said there wouldn't be pain if there was no meaning to it. Yes, he agreed, but it's still best to avoid the pain. Obviously he still hurts.

I used to try to fix people. Johnny changed all night. I'm not fixing anyone but me. I empathize with B, my heart aches a tiny bit for him sometimes. But I will not make any effort to get him out of the cave, or do anything he doesn't want to do. Since Johnny I've just learned to accept people as they are and not try to change them in any way... even for the good. Good intentions paves the road to hell.

I woke up Saturday on the couch; B retired to bed some time in the middle of the night. It was probably around 3 am that the movie ended; I don't remember. I was exhausted - from work, from sailing, and from all the bed play. I woke up around 8, showered, returned to the couch and pulled out a book to read. By 10, B woke up and made us coffee. He made fun of my book, lol, we chilled out watching Formula 1. Well... he was, I sort of looked at the screen for a bit and then went back to my book. By 11, I took off.

Thank you B, for a wonderful night. Totally made my month.