heir soir et ce soir

Yesterday I came home early and tried to take a nap, read a little, and then went to see the Tourist w a pal. Loved it. It was so cute and so sweet. And I loved the ending. Just loved it! Will have to see it again.

Then I get a text - "are you still up" from the Mulberry bush. Yes, I replied. Then the phone started ringing... he was calling. I sent it to voicemail. We proceeded to text for the duration of the conversation. I did not want to talk, I wrote. You must be mad at me, he wrote. Non, I am not mad, neither angry nor defensive. I just don't want to walk on egg shells around anyone. I don't want to get yelled at again, I don't want to deal with any more misunderstandings or anymore of the bullshit. I didn't say that in so many words, always trying to be polite but also precise. I also re-expressed that further acquaintance is a waste of time on both our parts.

And in my head, I congratulated myself for not giving unsolicited advice... like the fact that he had emotional issues he needed to deal with first. It's none of my business whether he knew it, needed to know it, dealt with it, or didn't deal with it. I was also tempted to explain precisely why I just didn't want to walk on egg shells or deal with it... but again, he never asked, therefore I should just shut up and find better things to do. So I did. I read a marvelous book.

Today I went to my meetings, went downtown to do some shopping and was promptly reminded that it was Christmas and the entire population was also shopping. Plus tourists. OMG. After waiting in line at Victoria's Secret, I dumped my things on a table and left. It's time to do some online shopping instead. I went over to Borders, found an excellent book and killed some time before my date came and picked me up for dinner.

I gave my date a choice... (usually they don't get one)... he can either be my friend, which means he'll always be in my life, or he can be my lover... at which point when we ceased being lovers he will never hear from me again. I do not keep old lovers around for any reason. Once its over, it's over. No calls, no contacts, no Facebook, nothing. He was torn. But I said there's no need to rush in the decision. Take your time. He later drove me home and now here I am. The wine was excellent and tomorrow morning I am going to read: Breakfast with Socrates.