I don't know where I went wrong but somewhere along the lines and creases I became bogged down by all that I had lost. Who cares?! I still have so much but somehow I can't appreciate it. When did I become so dissatisfied? Ungrateful me, some wretch possessed me and overtook my mind. I have never wanted to be unhappy yet here I am allowing so much dumb shit to make me unhappy! It has never been about the destination, but the journey. So here I am crawling out of this sink hole and back into life. Anywhere but here mentality. Just don't let me become one of those groups sort of people.
Since I've spent my entire life avoiding groupthink and groupspeak and any other group what have you's, note that I'm not much of a group kind of person. None of us is as dumb as all of us, imho. I don't know why I like contrariness but it tickles me pink to be contrary. If the whole group is being contrary, then there's not much contrariness is there? Dissent is the ultimate form of loyalty, an act of love if you will. I'm working on being a socially non-compliant hedonist where I can be polite without lying and say, "Yes Lucy, that dress does make you look fat." Maybe it's because I was traumatized by my kindergarten teacher marking my reports with "precocious, but does not play well with others." At the same time I can take it as well as dish it since every time I hear someone to tell my mouthy self to knock it the fuck off I get a ridiculous hard on.
Also, there's something uber beautiful about being totally non-passive aggressive and telling someone to go fuck themselves. I appreciate and admire those who have no trouble notifying others they're wrong, delusional, and completely full of shit. Salmon swimming upstream in our PC culture is a breathtaking sight to me.
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